Left, loving you.

I love you
in my own special way;
I love you unlike any other,
you make me smile
and you fill me whole
deeply, from the depths within

I adore you
unlike any other I know,
you make my day
a happier time; with smiles
I’d otherwise leave unknown

I’ll always love you
in ways you won’t notice,
when I can, I’ll cherish our moments
in case I’m left with nothing left
except these memories
otherwise insufficient…
yet preciously special
to me.

I love you
there’s no way I can disguise it
exhausting to hide it
painful to feel it;
but I love you
and I wished you loved me too.

Tumbling Down

Heart in my throat,
struggling to breathe
flutters in my stomach
tension in my hands
burning in my soul.

Arms raised high above my head
leaping off the edge
falling, windswept hair
tumbling, revolving, through the air
I am falling.

Catch me, catch me if you can
as I burst through the air
arms outstretched,
hoping to get caught in your
strong warm arms.

A little

I’m a little in love
with you;
as the silence descends
I think of you.

Together as we were
moments of perfection,
when I wished time
would stop,
so I could be in your arms
a little longer.

Holding onto you.

I think I’ll wait here
a little longer,
and wrap my arms around
myself;
holding onto hope
that you’ll pick me up
and hold me close
and never let me go.

Beginning

It’s beginning, entry titles
it’s tingling, the sensation
it’s trembling, the earth is shifting
we’re moving; the world
uplifting my roots
buried deep within.

I sense the danger zone,
flying high above the clouds
rocking my inner stability
you’ve shaken me,
from my boots, to my head;
left dazed and surprised.

You’ve caught me unaware,
my guard is down,
bravado’s disappeared
and I’m left here
boots in tact,
waiting for you to capture me
slowly, beautifully
until there’s nobody left
but you, in my deep blue eyes.

 

It’s like the rising tide,
creeping up on you
until it’s high above your head
and there’s nothing left to do
but kick hard, and kick strong.

But I’m failing at holding it back
the cold dark waters creeping upon me,
my pride begs me not to call for you
cry out your name, and plead;
drag me home, steal me away
wrap me in the warm blankets
of your loving arms.

This swell is mighty,
the depths are deeper than I know,
my gut is screaming,
heart plunging further to the ground
heavy and slow, I realise too late;
I’ve fallen, tumbled, head first
in love with you.

Whirling

As the stars twinkle
the birds settle for the night,
while the storm gently rattles my old
fashioned window panes;
still I lie here,
silent as the dark night,
while you dance through my mind
over, and over and over again.

I watch as you grasp my hand
touch my cheek,
caress my lips with your own
whisper in my ear
hug me close.

You’re whirling through my head
over, and over and over,
I can’t close my eyes for peace
you’re there; stronger than ever.
I can’t cast you away
you follow me, into the depths
of my restless dreams.

I can’t breathe, for
thoughts get stuck in my throat
words I was afraid to utter,
feelings I was too cowardly to share
trap me, holding me down;
it’s getting too much.

Every dream I had,
the many desires I held down
struggled with my longing
and let it simmer beneath the surface
my smiles, my jokes, a façade;
protecting myself
from these reckless, wild desires
I have for you.

I can’t breathe, can’t think
it’s bubbling beneath the surface
and slowly I’m falling apart
wishing for it to be under your touch;
as you take me with you
over beautifully magic hills
to the heavens and beyond.

I’ve written thousands of words,
marked these pages,
wept over the ink flowing from my pen,
poured my heart out,
all for you.

Yet you’ve moved on,
your heart captured by another
left me standing still in time,
longing for you, as the day I first met you
and basked in your warm eyes.

Denied all the feelings I had for you
until it was too late,
and time had passed on by,
as they say,
ships crossing in the night,
I missed your loving embrace
and it’s all my fault

My stubbornness,
my fearful heart, and terrified body
scared to love,
fearing the end;
scared you’ll leave
like all others did.

I am trying, best that I can,
yet it’s too late,
you’ve gone;
anchors up, you’ve left the shore,
standing tall, I wave goodbye
with a soft sad smile upon my lips;
I’ll love you still,
the best way I know,
always.

It’s Burning

Do you know, how close you are,
to tearing down my barriers,
I’m standing here,
silently begging,
uncover me, release me,
renew me.

I’m silently screaming out loud,
hold me, just, hold me,
please take me in your arms
have me, now,
kiss me, like nobody’s looking,
stop making me wait,
don’t make me wonder,
show me, now,
tell me, you love me.

The burning…
I can’t hold on.

I Know

I know it’s not my right,
turned that down, the day I said no,
but the longing doesn’t stop,
my feelings won’t go away as quickly
as the time it took to walk out your door
and walked into the distance.

You’ll tell me it’s not my right
to yearn for your arms,
feel your soft lips upon mine
to escape in your strong embrace
pretend I’m somewhere safe,
instead of the hell I find myself in.

I know you’re right,
you can’t be mine,
not today, nor tomorrow
I lost all the rights I had
to run into your arms
and hold you throughout time

But the longing won’t stop
the burning won’t simmer
the desire lingers always,
without chiling waters,
I am ablaze, wanting of you
knowing I’m lost to this
emptiness pit, I can’t escape.

Entirely Yours

Sometimes I wonder, what would you think, if you knew half of my poems were about you?

What would you say? What would you think? To know I’d written love letter equivalents to you?

I’ve become familiar with you, I know your cheeky smile, to your serious, contemplating face, to your jokey tones, and your lustful requests.

Slowly but surely I’ve come to know you, slowly but surely, inside and out.

I went from being cautious, timid and tentative… to giving you my whole heart; unwillingly, I gave myself to you. All but my body, I gave you my soul. Trusted you with my heart, without realising you had it anyway.

With your sweet, gentle smile, and tender care, you captured my heart, willing or not, I was gone. Swept away in your eyes, and remarkable kindness – I was gone, I was finished — I was yours.

But, I don’t think you know – how you swept me away. Unknowingly, you caught me, and though I resisted, I stand here – naked, head to toe, soul through and through, and I know, if you call, I am yours.

I am yours, I’ll always be yours, through the rough storms and swell-rough seas, I’ll stand tall and proudly say; I’m yours.

Even if you don’t know you’ve got me, I’m yours.

I’ll be yours until I am no longer me, where I’ll find you in heaven.